How to Solve Husband Wife Dispute Problem in Germany Islamic Way

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How to Solve Husband Wife Dispute Problem in Germany the Islamic Way

Living as a Muslim couple in Germany can be beautiful, but it also comes with unique challenges. New culture, work pressure, language barriers, and lack of family support can easily create misunderstandings between husband and wife.

If you are facing husband wife dispute problems in Germany and looking for an Islamic way to solve them, this guide is for you.

In this blog, we’ll talk about:

  • Why disputes happen between husband and wife
  • How Islam teaches us to handle marital problems
  • Practical tips to bring peace back into your marriage
  • Islamic duas and spiritual steps for solving conflicts

    • Let’s start gently and step by step.

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    Common Reasons for Husband Wife Disputes in Germany

    Every couple argues. That’s normal.

    But sometimes, especially in a foreign country like Germany, small issues turn into big fights. Here are some common reasons:

  • Work stress and busy life – Long working hours or shift jobs leave less time for the spouse.
  • Cultural differences – One partner may quickly adapt to German culture, while the other wants to hold tightly to traditions.
  • Financial pressure – High rent, bills, and responsibility towards families back home can cause tension.
  • Lack of communication – Many couples stop really “talking” and just go through daily routine.
  • Religious differences in practice – One wants to follow Islam strictly, the other is more relaxed.

    • Do you recognize any of these in your marriage?

    Understanding the root cause is the first step to solving husband and wife dispute problems in an Islamic way.

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    Islamic View on Husband Wife Relationship

    Islam gives great importance to the relationship between husband and wife. Allah says in the Qur’an:

    “And among His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy.”
    (Qur’an 30:21)

    From this verse, we learn that a marriage should be built on:

  • Tranquility (Sakeenah) – Peace, comfort, emotional safety
  • Love (Mawaddah) – Kindness, affection, care
  • Mercy (Rahmah) – Forgiveness, patience, understanding

    • If these three are present, disputes will not destroy your relationship.

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    Practical Islamic Ways to Solve Husband Wife Disputes

    Let’s look at some simple but powerful Islamic methods to reduce fights and restore harmony.

    1. Improve Communication with Wisdom

    Many problems are not about “big sins” but about “small words.”

    Islam encourages polite and gentle speech. Allah tells us to speak kind words, even when we are upset.

    Try this:

  • Choose a calm time to talk, not during anger.
  • Use “I feel” instead of “You always.” For example, say “I feel hurt when…” instead of “You never listen.”
  • Listen fully before replying. Don’t interrupt.

    • Imagine you both are on the same team, not enemies. The goal is not to “win” the argument, but to “win back peace.”

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    2. Follow the Sunnah of the Prophet (ﷺ) in Marriage

    The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) is our best example. He treated his wives with kindness, respect, and love.

  • He helped with housework.
  • He joked and smiled with his wives.
  • He never insulted or humiliated them.

    • Ask yourself:

  • Am I following the Sunnah in the way I speak and behave with my spouse?
  • Do I show appreciation, or only criticism?

    • Sometimes, just small sunnah acts – a kind word, a smile, a small gift, a gentle touch – can melt long-standing anger.

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    3. Control Anger – A Key Islamic Teaching

    Anger is often the fire that burns marriages.

    The Prophet (ﷺ) advised:

    “Do not get angry.” and repeated it multiple times.

    Some simple Islamic tips to control anger:

  • Say “A’udhu billahi min ash-shaytaan ir-rajeem” when you feel anger rising.
  • If you are standing, sit down. If you are sitting, lie down.
  • Make wudu (ablution). Water cools both the body and heart.

    • Do not make big decisions or give divorce (talaq) in anger. Wait until your mind is calm.

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    4. Use Family Mediation – Islamic and Practical

    The Qur’an gives a beautiful solution when conflict becomes serious:

    “If you fear dissension between them, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people…”
    (Qur’an 4:35)

    This means:

  • Each side chooses a wise and trustworthy family member.
  • These two mediators listen, advise and help the couple find middle ground.

    • In Germany, sometimes family is far away. In that case, you can:

  • Choose an experienced imam from the local mosque.
  • Speak to a trusted Muslim counselor or elder.

    • The key is to involve someone wise, fair, and who fears Allah.

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    5. Make Dua for Your Spouse and Your Marriage

    Many people complain about their spouse to others, but forget to complain to Allah first.

    Dua is a powerful spiritual tool for solving husband wife disputes in Germany or anywhere.

    You can recite:

  • “Rabbana hablana min azwajina wa dhurriyyatina qurrata a’yun, waj’alna lil-muttaqina imama.”
    (O our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.) – Qur’an 25:74
  • After every salah, ask Allah:
    “Ya Allah, put love, mercy and understanding between me and my spouse. Remove shaytaan from between us.”

    • Make dua with sincerity, with a soft heart, and with patience. Changes may come slowly, but they come.

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    Spiritual Steps to Resolve Marriage Problems the Islamic Way

    Along with communication and counseling, spiritual actions are very helpful.

    1. Pray Together Whenever Possible

    Even if you are both busy in Germany, try to:

  • Pray at least one salah together daily at home.
  • Make a short dua together after salah, holding hands.

    • Praying together increases barakah and emotional closeness.

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    2. Read Qur’an at Home

    A house where Qur’an is recited becomes a house of peace.

  • Choose a short surah to read together once a day or a few times a week.
  • Even 5–10 minutes of Qur’an can change the atmosphere of the home.

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    3. Give Sadaqah (Charity) with the Intention of Marital Peace

    Charity softens the heart and removes problems we cannot see.

  • Donate a small amount regularly, even a few euros a week, with the intention:
    “O Allah, accept this sadaqah and bring peace between me and my spouse.”

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    When You Need Extra Help in Germany

    Sometimes, despite dua and effort, problems stay or even grow. That doesn’t mean you are weak. It just means you may need guidance.

    In Germany, you can look for:

  • Local mosques (Masajid) – Many imams are experienced in marital counseling.
  • Islamic counseling centers – Some cities have Muslim family counselors.
  • Online Islamic scholars – If no one is nearby, you can seek advice online from trusted scholars.
  • Professional therapists – If needed, you can also try couples therapy with someone who respects your faith and values.

    • Islam encourages us to seek solutions, not to stay stuck in pain.

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    Important Islamic Reminders for Both Husband and Wife

    To truly solve husband wife dispute problems in Germany, both sides must work together.

    For husbands:

  • Remember the Prophet (ﷺ) said:
    “The best of you are those who are best to their wives.”
  • Be gentle in speech and behavior.
  • Provide financial support as much as you can.
  • Do not use your authority to control or hurt.

    • For wives:

  • Show respect and appreciation for your husband’s efforts.
  • Speak kindly, even when you are upset.
  • Avoid complaining about him to everyone.
  • Try to support him emotionally, especially in a foreign land like Germany.

    • Both partners should remember that marriage is not about “rights only,” but also about “responsibilities” and “sacrifice.”

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    Conclusion: Bringing Peace Back into Your Marriage

    Disputes between husband and wife are normal, whether in Germany, Pakistan, India, the Middle East, or anywhere else. The difference is how we handle them.

    By following the Islamic way:

  • Communicating with wisdom
  • Controlling anger
  • Following the Sunnah
  • Making sincere dua
  • Seeking help when needed

    • you can slowly rebuild love, trust, and peace in your marriage.

    If you are struggling today, don’t lose hope. Hearts can change. Situations can change. Allah is the Turner of hearts and the One who puts love between them.

    Start with a small step today – a kind word, a sincere apology, a heartfelt dua – and ask Allah to take care of the rest.

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